From the world which was dominated by labour intensive care; physical interaction; and sedentary living, we have come a long way into the world which is capital intensive; technologically driven, and which is also smart, economic and is becoming sustainable.
Besides all these social, political, and economic terms, what also has changed dramatically is human to human interaction. There are more emotions outflow, social media is bringing people of different places, cultures, and ethnicities together. And thus the idea of “love” has been changed miserably.
People have the tendency to love, and different kinds of love with respect to different people – family, friends, and life partner. No person is devoid of love. But what has changed is the interpretation of it.
Instead of falling in love with “the person”, people have been falling in love with their features. It’s the story of social media driven world. You see someone – he is handsome, he dresses well, and he holds a guitar and can sing. You immediately begin to get attracted to this person, don’t you ! But being attracted to and being in love with are totally different. We’ve discovered a word “Crush” and apparently that means I’ll love you until you fall in love with me too. You love them, not love them love them, you love them to make them fall in love with you. So, you go in relationship with this guitar person, you’ve already fallen in love with him and now you get to know him. And soon you realise that his feet up the desk isn’t sexy anymore. You see, everything wears out, he is handsome now but 5 years down the line no one knows how he’s gonna look; he sings well but you can’t possibly listen to his songs everyday, that’s annoying. And soon as you over get used to these features, you fall out of love for the exact same reason you fell in. You’d be wondering why then many relationships last for a lifetime. It’s because one thing never wears out, and it’s the person himself. If you fall in love with “the person” first and not his guitar stuff, you’ll realise that you can find different reasons to fall for him everyday.
Every relationship or friendship that lasts lifetime and the relationship or friendship that fades off has one thing in common. It’s that they all get boring after a while. I don’t see any reason why some friendships or relationships work and some fade away. You’ve been with someone for long, then you go to a new place, discover new things and boom, everything else wears out. You’ve been with someone for long, you meet new people and boom, everyone else become one boring story. And that is why when people say that “Love is a feeling” , they are wrong. I agree it’s a feeling alright, but it’s just not it. Feelings fade away, they always do.
So why other relationships lasts for life while other results in betrayl or falling out of love ?
It’s the commitment that matters, it’s the efforts. Every relationship, every friendship gets boring. That’s the truth, what saves them is the efforts you put.
And perhaps that’s the problem of the people of today. They are not willing to put the efforts, because jumping from one person to other seems easier. People say, “I felt for that person before, it made me happy but I don’t feel for that person anymore. I feel for someone else now. How is that my fault ?”
True, it isn’t your fault. But it’s also true that you didn’t love that person enough, or you didn’t love him at all. Love is confusing, it truly is. Every other thing that attracts our eyes becomes the definition of love. People misinterpret it and that’s why relationships fall out of order.
I watched a series called “How I met your mother” , Ted Mosby says in one of the episodes, “You’ll be surprised to know how easy it is in life to part ways with people you love, so when you meet someone, you try to keep them, you make every effort to keep them.”
And it’s one of the truest things I have heard. When you truly love someone, be it your partner or a friend, you constantly make efforts for them. And that’s precisely is love. When you make enough efforts in a relationship, you find different reasons to love them everyday and that’s why only few of the relationships work. It’s just like cracking a prestigious examination. You can’t just sit and let it come to you. You wake up everyday, you study hard and you go grab it. And that’s love too. You can’t just sit and relax once you’ve found someone, you gotta wake up and put efforts in the relationship to make it work.
You pour water in the plants everyday, little by little, to help it grow, for its flowers to blossom. Why not in a relationship then?
Love doesn’t come easy, just like that big examination. More often that not it results in heartbreak. But with proper and honest shower of hardwork and efforts, it comes to you, and it stays. And that’s why most people don’t like the idea of love, they either hate it or laugh at it. Because people today are not willing to put the efforts required. They want love to come to them and stay as if they are the masters and love a servant. And when they get bored of it, they throw them away in despair and breakdown and ask for a new one.
Love is a prized possession, it’s everything you need in life but it doesn’t come easy. You have to be willing to get up everyday and commit to it.
That is why they say that when you have someone who loves you to no bound, you’re the luckiest person on the planet.
Jammy 